Restore

The title song, RESTORE, was written during a very devastating time in my life. I was experiencing the loss of a 15 year marriage which led to another short marriage and divorce, and the loss of two homes -- among other calamaties. After having moved to another state, I then suffered the illegal termination of my job and medical benefits as a result of a medical condition. I was facing the unfathomable task of having to provide for my 4 children on my own while in fear of having them taken from me because of my illness and lack of income. Lying in my bed, crying, and trying to process where I was, how I had arrived there, and how I would begin to proceed with life, all the while knowing that I could no longer continue to hide all I was carrying behind the smile I displayed in public; the phone rang. As I answered it I heard the calming voice of my brother, Vincent, on the other end. He told me that while he had been praying for me he believed that the Lord had given him a passage of scripture to share with me. It was found in Joel 2:25 of the Old Testament. It read, 'And I will restore to you the years that the Locust have eaten, the cankerworm, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.' He then began to encourage me and give me hope for my future, reminding me of God's love for me and that He was not finished with me. Vincent said many other things and prayed with me. When I hung the phone up, I opened my bible, which was always in bed with me, and I found the passage and read it again.... and again.... and again. I began to hear the Holy Spirit speaking these words to me even though they were not originally written to me in scripture. They were given by God to the children of Israel who He had disciplined for their rebellion and idolatry against Him. God explained to them that He had sent the plague they had been enduring year after year in result of there sin, but that He would give back to them the years they had lost in their devastation after they turned their hearts back to Him -- grieving over their bad choices, and choese\ing to worship Him once again. By the time of that reading, I had experienced years of the unraveling of the personal world I knew to be my own life. I had disabling disappointment and responded to some of it in ways that did not honor the Lord. Deep down I blamed God for my calamity and it was difficult to believe that He could watch silently as my life spiraled downward. I needed to know that He understood what was going on, because I didn't. My resourcefulness had finally failed me and I was numb with confusion.......until i received the promise in Joel 2:25 and claimed it as my own. When I did I heard His voice singing over me this song. I grabbed pen and paper and began to write. It was the fuel I needed to restart my faith engine, and it was faith that I would need begin the restoration process.