Up To No Good

The National Board for Musical Decency, in conjunction with Mothers Against Immoral Jugband Music, sternly warn the public that 'Up to No Good,' the fourth album by Tennessee-based string band The Jake Leg Stompers, contains songs depicting scenes of wantonness, debauchery, drunkenness and other activities of a suspect moral nature sung in double entendre style and performed with reckless abandon on instruments such as trombone, violin, guitar, ukulele, harmonica, washboard, banjo, bones, tuba, accordion, upright bass, pump organ and saw in such a manner as to induce such a rise in the body humours that sinful activity is all but inevitable in the listener. The National Board for Musical Decency has endeavored since the dawn of the Jazz Age to suppress this decadent music performed by string bands on street corners and speakeasies, only to have the Jake Leg Stompers lead a revival of this forbidden music into the 21st Century. With the addition of their latest member, blues diva Lela Mae Smith, the Stompers have expanded their standard repertoire extolling the pleasures of illegal hooch and idol laziness into the realms of lasciviousness and advocacy of consensual adult pleasures between the sexes. The N.B.M.D. finds this quite unacceptable. While the Jake Leg Stompers claim to have included several songs of a quasi-religious nature on this album from the realms of acceptable folk tradition, we feel that is hardly adequate in mollifying the effects of other musical selections that would cause blushing in the elderly. In researching the various backgrounds of the Jake Leg Stompers, the N.B.M.D. has made some shocking discoveries, which we share with you below. Please consider the following official 'rap sheets' of these 'musicians' before allowing this rambunctious and musically intoxicating music into your homes. Sincerely, Herbert Octavius Bentbrow National Board for Musical Decency _________________________________________________________ Turney Center Penitentiary Record of Hambone Willie Nevil # 66185 ALIASES: Cedric Sanford Scott, Minister of Mojo, Justice of Ju-Ju BORN: Grinder's Switch, Tenn. MODUS OPERANDI: Medicine Show Hustler, Root Doctor, Saw Bender CRIMINAL HISTORY: Arrested at Bucksnort, Tenn. For running mountebank operation selling grain alcohol in medicine jars from a Ford truck whilst engaged in vaudeville routines with jugglers, flapper women, and musicians of questionable repute in flagrant violation of the Volstead Act. Case Dismissed. Believed to have ties to recent series of Jamaica Ginger-fueled barn dances involving secular jug music in violation of local blue laws enforced by the Sinnerville Church, William Torquemada Sunday, Pastor and Chief Minister. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- New Jersey State Penitentiary Record of Jersey Slim Hawkins # 1729 ALIASES: Alfonso Bonino, Boom Boom Bacardi BORN: Bayonne, N.J. MODUS OPERANDI: Safe Cracker, Bicycle Mechanic, Conservatory Dropout CRIMINAL HISTORY: Conspiracy to commit cat burglary (Siamese) and 2 Counts of Impersonating a Mime. Arrested at Nashville, Tenn. For Reckless Endangerment, playing incomprehensible tunes on bagpipes of unknown origin, whereupon three men and two women, along with several stray dogs, began dancing in the street, disturbing commerce, causing a nuisance, and becoming a danger to themselves and others. No Disposition. Arrested at Bayonne, N.J. on the corner of 33rd and Third, attempting to extort donations from pedestrians whilst posing as clairvoyant interpreter of smoke signals. _________________________________________________________ Sevier Co. Correctional Facility for Crimes of Fashion Record of Horatio Algernon Whiplash # 19261 ALIASES: Millard Fillmore Strunk, Dead-Eye Sam Muldoon BORN: Strawberry Plains, Tenn. MODUS OPERANDI: Door-to-Door Pet Hypnotist, Baseball Mafioso, Spoon Bender CRIMINAL HISTORY: Thievery of South Carolina Gov. Ibra Blackwood's official sedan whilst he was taking his oath during 1931 inaugural. Also known to have ties to Lester Gann's moon