Win Me Back

It's been an interesting road and I wanted to share a bit of it with you, because I'm so grateful that you have chosen to listen to my songs. I started at 16 with a hip hop song and video that played on MUCH MUSIC. I was so excited. I loved music and got caught up in the illusion. But instead I met with one disappointment after the next. Slowly it all died as dreams sometimes do. Little did I know, it was just a flower going to seed. My life changed. I lost sight of who I was and what my life was about. I couldn't see any hope. My anxiety caused me all kinds of trouble from my health to a face full of acne. I felt so ugly inside and out. I just wanted to be invisible. It was worse to hear people tell me that I was so pretty but how could I let my acne get so bad - as if I had any control over it. I wanted to lose myself in the world and get away from all the pressure of my failures and constant feelings that I was not good enough. With my dreams now dead, I sold almost every earthly possession and headed for Europe. Two weeks later I lost everything - my passport, train pass, money etc. But I survived and traveled across Europe like a vagabond with no more than a tiny backpack. I became invisible, wearing the same worn out clothes every day. And I found a new freedom in being invisible and having nothing. Then something wonderful happened. Every morning I looked out over the land or water wherever I was and uttered a simple prayer for food and a place to sleep and a gift, and every day was filled with so much more than I asked for. I felt like I was carrying a secret friend in my pocket. Strangers bought me meals, gypsy musicians took me under their wing in Paris, simple villagers brought me food in Greece, I slept on rooftops in Switzerland, and an old man with nothing to do, showed me the countryside everyday while I was in south Italy, to name a few adventures. I found myself more and more with every mile I traveled. And then I went to the south Pacific, to a beautiful island and met beautiful people who took me in. In the middle of all this I realized more than ever that God is real and he is in everything, and he made a path for me where there was none. And I realized that I didn't need to be perfect to let music into my life. I didn't need to live in a world of illusions to be happy. The simple melodies that lived inside me were enough. I let go of my fear and failure and I let my music come out. And it has made me so happy. Now I don't care if I play for one person or a whole audience. I'm simply doing what makes me happy. And that's truly the best thing you can do in life. What makes you happy is the only thing that's real. The picture you see here was taken by a childhood friend who doesn't even know what an amazing photographer he is - better than any professional I've used. He's following what makes him happy - using the creative energy he has to capture beauty in a photograph. Every trial shows us where the gold is buried, if we are wise enough to dig. Thank you for sharing in my music. And I want to encourage you to find and follow what makes you truly happy. And let go of whatever holds you back. Because the dark times will pass but while you go through them you will grow and become stronger and in the end you will feel more excited to be alive than you ever did before.